Michael Koby

• You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven’t left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven’t left your neighborhood.)
• Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
• The “farm-to-market” roads have seven lanes.
• If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to Randall’s Flagship, Rice Epicurean Market or a Kroger’s Signature.
• You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
• When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
• You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
• You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a cold front has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees In a matter of minutes.
• You wander into a section of town where you can’t read the street signs but you don’t care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
• You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you’re almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.
• You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.
• You know that “Dad gummit” has nothing to do with your father’s failure to practice good dental hygiene.
• You think “Y’all” is perfectly good usage if you’re referring to more than one person.
• You’ve never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction, and you’ve lived here for 20-30 years.
• If the humidity is below 90 percent, it’s a good hair day.
• The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
• You know that while saving you money, “Mattress Mac” has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.
• You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff’s deputy who wears a white toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, “MAR-VIN ZIND-LER, EYE-witness news” into a television camera every night.

[Technorati Tag: Funny]
[Technorati Tag: Humor]
[Technorati Tag: Houston]

• You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven’t left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven’t left your neighborhood.)
• Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.
• The “farm-to-market” roads have seven lanes.
• If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to Randall’s Flagship, Rice Epicurean Market or a Kroger’s Signature.
• You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
• When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
• You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
• You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a cold front has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees In a matter of minutes.
• You wander into a section of town where you can’t read the street signs but you don’t care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
• You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you’re almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.
• You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.
• You know that “Dad gummit” has nothing to do with your father’s failure to practice good dental hygiene.
• You think “Y’all” is perfectly good usage if you’re referring to more than one person.
• You’ve never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction, and you’ve lived here for 20-30 years.
• If the humidity is below 90 percent, it’s a good hair day.
• The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
• You know that while saving you money, “Mattress Mac” has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.
• You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff’s deputy who wears a white toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, “MAR-VIN ZIND-LER, EYE-witness news” into a television camera every night.

[Technorati Tag: Funny]
[Technorati Tag: Humor]
[Technorati Tag: Houston]

SmartMoney.com has a nice little 2 page article about the best time to buy various kinds of items. Some of the stuff is fairly obvious, but what I enjoyed most was the explainations.

For example, the article says that the best time to buy a new car is in September because,

By September, all the next year’s models have arrived at the lot, and dealers are desperate to get rid of the current year’s leftovers, says Phil Reed, consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com. It’s the prime time of year for incentives and sales, not to mention bargaining. “Any car that’s been on the lot for a long time loses its value in the eyes of the car salesman,” he says.

Heading to the dealership on a weekday morning also helps because there’s low foot traffic, meaning you’ll have ample time to negotiate and fewer people trying to buy the same car. The more demand, the less willing a salesman is to go down on price, says Reed.

The article can be found here.

[Technorati Tag: Money]