A friend of mine had this as their away message on AIM.  Imagine the  Budweiser “Real Men of Genius” music being played behind it for maximum effect:

Today I salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having life in college or at least being productive, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little box at the bottom of the Buddy List (whichever is faster). You have people on that list you haven’t talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages every day to see what they are up to (borderline stalking). So, crack open an ice cold budwieser, Marauder of the Mousepad and don’t wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone’s away message may change…

[Technorati Tag: Funny]